Introduction

On Father’s Day, June 20, 2021, Pastor Eric spoke on the importance of honouring our husbands and fathers and valuing their roles. Fathers and husbands play a vital role with respect to the well-being of their families and society as a whole. We need men of integrity who will love their wives and children like God loved the church, and who will make it through trying times. 

Pastor Eric’s sermon today is not about our husbands and fathers: it’s to benefit them. Pastor Eric is speaking to their families. 

We can help our fathers and husbands become what God intended them to be. We are to encourage the men in our lives and say good things about them to others, to help them reach their full potential. If we do this, we will help them turn over a new leaf and consequently, God will bless them and their marriage. God blesses those who put these principles into practice. If these men’s lives improve, everyone wins.

What can we do for our fathers and husbands?

Love them unconditionally.

In 1 John 4:11, Jesus says, “Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” God loves us unconditionally and that is what motivates us to be everything He wants us to be. Love is the motivation. God loves us with all our imperfections. That is the kind of love the Lord wants us to show others. Love is not a feeling, it’s a choice. When we give our fathers and husbands unconditional love, it shows them they are accepted for who they are. Conversely, we should never be saying things that affect our husbands and fathers negatively. If we support the men in our lives, they will be able to achieve the impossible, because we will be removing the excess pressure that is weighing on them. We are to love who they are as a person rather than their accomplishments. 

Accept them for who they are.

Accept fathers and husbands for who they are and not for who you want them to be. Men are wired differently than women. They think differently. They see things differently. They process things differently. They have different needs. That is the beauty of love. Love is not a feeling, it’s a choice. We need to accept our fathers and husbands for who they are. We are not to compare them to someone else. When we compare them to others, something inside of them dies. They may not say it, but they will feel it. When we act this way, we are not only destroying the man, but we are also sinning against God. Exodus 20:17 says, “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbour.” We are to be content with what we have. We are not to accept things fathers and husbands do that are contrary to the will of God, but we are to accept them for who they are. We are to find something we admire in them and let them know. If all we do is criticize, they will be discouraged.

Show them respect and honour.

These are a man’s most important needs. Men crave respect and honour. In Ephesians 5:33 we read, “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” Men who are shown respect and honour will be willing to go the extra mile for their families. In Ephesians 6:1-3, Paul says, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother – which is the first commandment with a promise – so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” Honour is included in the Ten Commandments and it’s one with a promise attached to it, so it’s very important to God. We will be blessed if we put this into practice. The level of honour and respect that is given to husbands and fathers will also determine how successful they are. When we show them admiration, we are helping them accomplish great things. Honour will give them the confidence and the optimism they need to accomplish the impossible.

How do we show honour? 

Talk positively about him publicly. We honour our fathers and husbands by talking positively about them to others. No one assumes they are perfect but use your opportunity to speak in a way that honours him instead of airing his dirty laundry publicly.

Ephesians 4:29 says,

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

When we honour them with our words and actions, it will be reflected in our attitude. We are to listen to them even when we don’t agree with them. God will bless us when we put these things into practice. We are to value their opinion and avoid treating them like children. We are also expected to partake with them in things they love to do. That is some of the ways we can honour the men in our lives.

What do I do if I’m not respected and honoured?

Tell Jesus.

Confide in Jesus. The Lord specializes in restoring marriages and families. In Genesis 2:18, God said “…It is not good for the man to be alone.” Jesus will help you.

Tell someone.

Confide in someone you trust, or talk to a pastor or a Christian counsellor.  

Take comfort in God while you wait for your miracle.

Understand how God sees you. If you are not getting the honour and respect from the people in your life, remember that you get everything you need in Christ. Find comfort in the Lord.

What do you do when the person is dishonorable? 

A dishonourable man can become an honourable man if we honour him. There are some exceptions to the rule, but more often than not, we can help a man become honourable by honouring him, even if we believe the honour is undeserved.

Proverbs 31:23 states,

Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

Many believe that the man referred to in this verse was honourable due to his wife’s positive influence on him. When a wife shows honour to her husband, even if it’s unmerited, it will help him become a better person because that is what he craves the most.

Let’s obey God and value the father and husband’s role in our lives. It will improve everyone’s life in the process. Furthermore, let’s be thankful for the men in our lives, whom God has blessed us with.

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